I know we’re supposed to be thankful on Thursday, but some things have been made clear to me this day that leads me to be thankful for what I have. It is so easy to be swayed by desire for the things we see other people have, that we forget to see what we have. Our culture is so keyed in to having it all, more, I’ll have what he’s/she’s having, that it fuels the monster in all of us. Sometimes we need to be smacked in the face to realize, stuff isn’t what it’s all about.
#1 reason I am feeling this tonight? Hubster’s Aunt passed away. She was a talented lady who could create many things. I have some cherished Christmas Ornaments she gifted to us upon our marriage. This will now become even more precious. I think she lost her way when her husband died. She became reclusive and finally just gave up. She wanted to die. She refused help from her son, sister (my MIL), nieces and brother. In the past few years, things were not what could have made a difference in her life. People tried, but couldn’t get through to her. In her lifetime she had many things and advantages, but what good were they in her latter years.
#2 reason? The Christmas season, or as I call it, the silly season, is begun. It just starts earlier and earlier each year. And each year we are told the gifts need to be bigger and better!! And we are shown images that tell us, our loved ones don’t love us if they aren’t giving us the latest fad of the year. I told Hubster tonight, after purchasing a new couch and coffee table for his bar/bonus room, and taking a trip to San Fran this year, we don’t need to gift each other with stuff. He never wants presents, but knows how I love to open up gifts on Christmas Day. So he said that wouldn’t fly with me. I told him, all I need is one thing he has gotten me several years running now. He said “jewelry”. No, PJs and Socks! My most favorite gift of the season!! What can I say, I am easy to please.
So, I am trying to remind myself, that things aren’t what make me happy. Memories are.
Another thing that has me pondering life, is my weight. I am not thin, I am not fat. I carry a lot of my weight in my face/neck and belly. Hey, I am 50, what do you expect. At 5’8″, I can carry more weight and not be perceived as overweight. But, boy do those health charts tell me I am! I thought about how I avoid having my picture taken, especially when standing next to all of my petite in height and size SILs and cousins’ wives. And then I thought, wait, if someone thinks of me in passing, are they thinking only of my double chin and belly bump? If they are, how shallow of them. I would hope I am remembered for my kindness and charity. But, am I really all that kind? Couldn’t I be kinder and more thoughtful? Sure, I am very thoughtful to those I love and my friends. But what about others? I can recall some times when my kindness has been lacking. So, why not focus more on that and not be worried about the image a photo will show to my daughters, future grand-kids, or relatives. I give myself permission to be in the picture and be remembered for the laughter and joy on my face, than worry about the double chin that’s hanging beneath the smile!
So, Tuesday finds me thankful that I have so much, that things aren’t going to make me any happier. I am thankful that in a few days I will be surrounded by family and we will spend the day laughing and creating memories. I am thankful for knitting, which creates gifts I can give to tiny babies, friends in need, or family I love. I am thankful for the husband who puts up with me, and the daughters who make me smile. I am working on being thankful for the cruel world of school age girls who can’t be friendly to my girls, but that’s gonna take a bit of help from God.
Now, to remember to be thankful beyond Thursday!